Basic Premarital Etiquette
While western society still provided numerous obstacles and regulations for young, unmarried women during the Progressive Era, etiquette books show that women actually gained some autonomy and power through their relationships with men. These new dating ideals are presented in For Girls, an etiquette book written by Mrs. E. R. Shepherd. At first glance, one may think Shepherd merely presents simple day-to-day etiquette for young women. However, For Girls illustrates the growing opportunities for young women to find power through dating in the Progressive Era.
As shown in For Girls, the Progressive Era brought forward new ideas that young women should not only be more exposed to young men, but should be taught of their own power in courtships. Shepherd lays down rules of courtship at first by claiming that young women should not shield themselves from interacting with young men, as Pre-Progressive Era etiquette argued, but rather should have plenty experience interacting with possible suitors: “Girls having extensive acquaintance with young men will not be liable to repose confidence in some false suitor and be led to ruin, or to suffer with bashful timidity”[2]. Young women were encouraged to interact more frequently with young men, so as not to marry an unworthy suitor. This granted unmarried women more wisdom and power in courtship. Shepherd goes on to state, “Young ladies realize too little the influence they may exert over the other sex.” She states that women have the ability to “lead them just where they please”[3]. Here Shepherd, like many others during the Progressive Era, asserts that women should be aware of the power and control in the realm of dating. Young women were granted autonomy in dating—they just had to choose to seek it out, and many did.
[2] E. R. Shepherd, For Girls (New York: Fowler & Wells Co. Publishers), 188–195.
[3] Ibid.