Society's expectations of a man

The picture I have chosen is the introductory page of the primary source I have assigned to myself, and it is the only graphic material present in the entire source. Etiquette for Gentlemen is an etiquette guide written by an unknown “American Gentleman,” in the years between 1847 and 1853 during the Antebellum age. Its intended audience, as per the inside cover states, is “Gentlemen.” But the age of the intended audience can vary from the early age of 16 till as much time it takes for these set of manners to be ingrained within the person. The book by itself is a small and very handy piece of literature which by its stature seemed like something that was intended to be carried around for easy accessibility at any given point of time, especially during travel. Major chapter titles within the book are along the lines of how a gentleman should conduct himself in different social situations in an orderly manner such as when attending funerals and the ball-room. And, there were even titles such as how a gentleman should write his cards, and how a gentleman should behave when he meets a lady acquaintance in public. It is quite self-explanatory by the title that this etiquette book pertains exclusively to gentlemen, and we had devised earlier how this book is for men of all ages.

 However, a lot of the text within the book is in regard to how the rest of society would react, especially women. But that is the only mention of women in any way, shape or form. But this was the most interesting part of this book: there is this overarching theme of it being a cardinal sin to behave in a manner which might be frowned upon by the people of society. Much of these mannerisms seem to be firmly embedded in a man’s mind through severe conformity which is enforced due to strict standards set by the greater society. Furthermore, there seems to be a culture of shaming if someone does forget his manners. And lastly on this subject, shame translates to offense which is what people take if a man doesn’t behave the way he is expected to. White men are the primary audience of this book, and thus the lack of theological language perhaps is indicative that a white person was assumed and expected to be Christian. Despite the patriarchal tone of the book, there is surprisingly no mention of men being the sole breadwinner of a household, but perhaps that too is assumed of men.

In conclusion, the title of the book gives away the basic premise of this book. But the lack of certain themes in this book helps us flesh out the various assumptions we discussed earlier, but it gives us a glimpse into a lot of implicitly understood gender roles as has been the case with women and the responsibilities which were expected of men. 

[1] “True Politeness: A Hand-book of Etiquette for Gentlemen” New York: G.A Leavitt,(1847-1853)  

[2] 

Halttunen, Karen. "Sentimental Culture and the Problem of Etiquette." In Confidence Men and Painted Women: A Study of Middle-class Culture in America, 1830-1870, 92-123. Yale University Press, 1982. http://www.jstor.org/stable/j.ctt32bxmn.8.